Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
3pm strippers are depressing
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Randomize
