he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
it's like iHOP with fire
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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