I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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