oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
