woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
