mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
