I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
