Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize