i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
