Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
it's like heaven, but drunker
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
