totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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