She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
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I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
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I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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