4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Randomize
