i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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