Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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