you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
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