well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Someone came in the potted fern
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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