Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
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His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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