i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
