Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
