You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
