you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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