They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
