i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize