You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize