Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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