and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
The best revenge is premature balding
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
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