You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
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not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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