the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize