I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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