I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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