Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?