Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study