you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I believe in your delicious