Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.