yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Randomize
