There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Randomize
