yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
