My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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