Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
