I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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