Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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