i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Randomize
