Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
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She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
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HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
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