i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Randomize
