I'm lost and stupid without you.
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
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he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
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I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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