Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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