I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
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