it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
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You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
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Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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