so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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