i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
