We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize