You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
