Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
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she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
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You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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