my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
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