wrigley field is MILF paradise
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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