I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
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