brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Two words: nipple clamps
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