Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
