Nicole vs. Life
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Randomize
