i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
