it was like having sex with a tree stump
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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