I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
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Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
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His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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