He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
