Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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