I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
