well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize