handjob tips. give me some.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
